Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize