Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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