Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
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she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
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It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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