some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize