Your face is a jimmy john
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
that is very illegal...i love you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize