You smell like stripper and shame
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
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She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
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I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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