hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
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If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
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I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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