This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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