And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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