My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
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I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
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It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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