It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
they're like a gay fantastic four
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Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
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BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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