You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
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