I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
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We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
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he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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