it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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