he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize