So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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