Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize