The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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