At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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