you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My vagina just clenched in fear
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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