quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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