he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize