She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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