She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
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She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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