I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize