Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
try to milk me bitch
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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