im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize