this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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