The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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