Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize