I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize