Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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