I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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