so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize