you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Im part way to drunk.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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