oh god the rape fog is back!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
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you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
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I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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