I bet he comes in French.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
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spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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