Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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