You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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