Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize