Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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