I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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