i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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