am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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