walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize