I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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