and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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