Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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