I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize