I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize